Mega Millions Lotto Numbers Anounced

We all are excited to win the mega millions lottery,  as all of US residents are looking to grab that big chunk of money..

The winning numbers for the $640 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot, the first-largest prize in the game's history, Lotto Numbers that won$640 million are 2-4-23-38-46, Mega Ball 23, but so for winners haven't come yet, officials said as per http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57407405/winning-mega-millions-numbers-announced/

Mega Millions drawings are held Tuesdays and Fridays at 11 p.m. ET and Friday night's drawing took place in Atlanta.

The odds of winning the Mega Millions jackpot were estimated at about 1 in 176 million, according to lottery officials.

The largest Mega Millions jackpot ever won was $390 million in March 2007, according to Mega Millions.

The winner is selected through five balls drawn from a set of balls numbered one through 56, and one ball is drawn from a set numbered one through 46.

While there are nine ways to win a prize, starting from $2, ticket buyers across the country have their eyes on the $640 million jackpot, which has been growing since Jan. 24. That's when Mega Millions had its most recent jackpot winner, Marcia Adams, 33, from Georgia. She won $72 million and chose the cash option of $52 million.

The odds of winning any of the Mega Millions prizes are approximately 1 in 40.

The estimated jackpot is based on national sales up to the time of the drawing. In the last drawing, in which there was no jackpot winner, almost 2.9 million tickets won Mega Millions prizes.

Anyone Else Buy A Ticket? I Won $30 :)

Hunger Games Comic

Just recently released movie "Hunger Games" is popular and somebody has come up with the comic..

Faces of non animated objects

Faces of non-animated objects

Blondes have more fun

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke ?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.’



I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes
To the starving people throughout the world.

I told them to Bugger off!! Anybody who fits into my old clothes isn't starving!!




My girlfriend is always complaining that I push her around and talk behind her back.
I said "it ain't my fault you are in a wheelchair"

Short and Funny David Cameron Joke

Time Machine

David Cameron goes to a science exhibition and is shown a time machine
which can see 100 years into the future.
The man in charge invites him to ask any question he likes.
Cameron asks
"What will Australia be like in 100 years time?"
The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives a printout,
which the man reads:
"The country is in good hands under the new Prime Minister, crime is
non-existent, there is no conflict, and the economy is healthy. There are no
worries.
"He has another go
"What will China be like in 100 years time?"
Another print out:
"The country is the world's leading economy and everyone there enjoys the
highest standard of living in the world"
Cameron then asks
"What will Great Britain be like in 100 years time?"
The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action. The man gets a printout,
but he's just stares at it.
"Come on," says Cameron "What does it say?"..................



The man replies, "Buggered if I know! It's all in Arabic!"


And the fun loving Irish joke

Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all
been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub
on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick,
took a boat out to the middle of the lake.

Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Mick just
barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused,Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross
the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,

"Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather
were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were
born in August, ya f***in eejit"

Nine Months Later

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night.

"I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house"

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked
"Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out

"I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

Daylight Savings Time funny cartoons pics

Enjoy daylight savings time funny cartoons pics

Cool Funny Sayings and Quotes

Kindly enjoy cool funny sayings and quotes ..

Hope is a good thing - maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies

You can't deny laughter, when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. -Stephen King

Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman - Anonymous

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know i am hilarious. - Anonymous

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Its just that yours is stupid.

When i am reading book and someone asks what i am reading, i never answer them. I just hold up the cover for them. - Anonymous

I would retaliate against your snotty remarks, but since you resemble a garden gnome, i would say the joke is on you.

If you're not good santa doesn't bring you many presents. Like, if you kill someone - that's pretty bad. Then you only get a yayo.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, Man, that was fun.

A guy make s a woman come, it is a talent.. A woman makes a guy come, its a standard.

I am not telling you its going to be easy, i am telling you its going to be worth it.

Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Dependant yes, But also deductible.

Its all good except for poo poo. (Kids sayings) - Delia

Smile don’t frown Look up don’t look down Believe in yourself Don’t let yourself go Just be who you are And let your live flow.

I’m not a fighter. I usually smile and then go into my room and cry my eyes out.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.

Even if I am in a bad mood I have to smile and be nice to the fans.

A smile is a language that even a baby understands.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

For some more funny quotes ....

Mystery of Cow Economics

The World explained through Cow Economics

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ANGLO-IRISH BANK (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.